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someone: im literally dying i just got stabbed please call 911
my self-obsessed ass: haha (: that reminds me of the time i was at the hospital march 6th 2005 at approximately 4:56pm (: i was so sick!!! ugh hate that feeling haha
me, tbh
haha this reminds me of the time i related to something lol i was wild haha :)
(via totoroko)
me: you know what i could go for right now?
friend: dick in your a-
me: dick in my ass
(via totoroko)
Just throw the whole ass in my face knock me out
(via thedragonsdrugs)
